Trustfall: How October’s Energy Teaches You to Let Go
The cure for doubt and overwhelm isn't more information. It's a reconnection to those things you hold dear - even if you’ve never named them out loud. We call these your core values.
Life has a way of pulling us away from what matters most. Until one day we wake up and wonder what we’re missing because there is this sense of emptiness that we can’t explain.
When I left for Paris in 2016 - it was to be for nine months. Nine months turned into nine years before I knew it.
It has been a wildly intoxicating life in many ways. And in others it’s been incredibly challenging. Being bi-continental - going back and forth every three months became so second nature for me that I didn’t see how far I was drifting out of alignment with the things that made my life feel complete and whole - each journey took me away from those I love.
Every time I got ready to “go back home” which was whatever country I was traveling to - I became sad. With every hello, there were also good byes. With all the day to day in one place, other day to day moments were lost.
I’ve done things for the past nine years some people don’t do once in a lifetime. And oh, the amazing things I’ve seen and experienced - the people I got to know and love - changed me.
And the logistics of trying to have it all - because I never saw where that one decision to pursue a dream would lead me - kept me focused on the how as the why softly floated away.
The external noise of the world tells us we "have" to do certain things to reach our dreams, to be successful, or kind, approved of... even loved. It becomes too easy to lose that small voice inside. Too busy throwing our all into what we are told we “have” to do to be happy.
But have you ever wondered what would happen if you silenced those “shoulding,” have to, voices?
I began to ask myself this last year. And now I’ll ask you too.
What do you want more than anything? Are you willing to make room for it in your life? Are you willing to let go of what others think, need or want to make it happen?
Can you… or… does your mind tell you that those you love will stop loving you if you don't respond in a way they’ve grown to expect. What if you don’t answer that text immediately? Pick up the laundry, plan dinner? Do you fear that your work, life, or relationships will fall apart if you slow down, say no… let them handle things on their own while you listen to what calls you?
Are we truly so fragile that we can’t stop, rest, just enjoy a beautiful day uninterrupted by dings, demands, or notifications?
The real question is this:
Is your value only based on what you can do - or give?
Is it?
Or have you ever considered… maybe that’s our story - maybe the disconnect we fear isn’t real?
We've been conditioned to believe we can’t step back.
Those are the kind of questions October's energy is bringing full force. If you haven’t slowed down long enough to be clear on what matters to you, the transits this month will haunt you with those kind of “what if” questions.
Just as the leaves begin to fall from the trees, everything we've used to define who we are — the things we've put our emotional security in — will also begin to fall.
Not to panic. If anything, this is time to celebrate. We have no room for expansion, no room for the things we want in our life if we are clinging to things - or people - or relationships - or work - or anything that hasn’t encouraged us to grow for a long time.
Just as fall leaves make way for winter hibernation in preparation to go deeper. This month will ask you to pause, slow down, evaluate, and let go. It will call you to trust that a rest from busyness and habit is when you connect to what matters. It's calling us to retreat and recharge, to be clear and ready for what’s next.
Are you ready for those questions? If that sends a chill of fear through you check out the live that Nicole Kaufman and I did about fear. catch it here
Jump into the deep end of the pool. Ask yourself this question:
If I could do anything I wanted - be anyone I wanted - who would she be and what would she do? Who would she spend her time with? Where would she go?
And then, just get still and listen for the answers
Stop doing and be. Listen to the signs your body gives you.
Notice any moment you want to stop, rest, play, say no… and you push through because you tell yourself you “have” to. Your body doesn’t operate in logic.
But anytime you override it with old patterns, conditioned reason, guilt, or resentment - chances are you’ll look back and say… “I knew I should have… “ or maybe worse… “I knew I shouldn’t have…”
Before that happens - because it will… take 30 minutes to do something that will ground you when all those plans fall apart for reasons you never could have foreseen.
Get back in touch with your core values.
Yep. It's that simple.
What you value - not what someone else tells you that you should value is the path to understanding who could be if you allowed yourself to be.
What do you value?
Do those values guide your life?
If you don't know - or you aren’t sure what they are — they can't guide you.
Spend a few minutes getting clear using this simple exercise.
CORE VALUES CLARITY EXERCISE
Scroll down to the Core Values list below (or Google a "core values list").
Circle every word that resonates with you. Don't overthink it.
Write each of the words you circled into two columns (split them however you want).
Starting with line 1, choose ONE of the two words from that line — the one you feel more strongly about.
Do this for every line.
When you're done, take the selected words and do the same process again: two columns, pick one per line.
Repeat until you're left with five.
These are your core values.
Now, it becomes simple:
You use these values as stepping stones to know what you are being called to:
Pay attention to
Do more of
Slow down on
Or maybe even walk away from
If your life isn't aligned with these values, it will feel "off." And no amount of productivity, performance, or people-pleasing will fix that.
So don’t try to fix it.
Instead, trust.
And let what matters most become your compass again.